Unquestionable Thinking
by Stevie Radleigh
Summary: This is what would have happened if Steve showed his respects. LoD created by Jed Mercurio. Kept by the BBC.


So I've fell in love with Keeley Hawes over the summer and watched most of the things she's been in. Line of Duty being one of the best. I knew I just had to write this story (Which doesn't really make any sense in terms of the show but I thought after about 3 years of being off the radar I needed to come back.)

I've not really watched it all through so if I get it wrong, sorry. But don't let that put you off. Let the terrible writing and bad ending do it for you. (Tbh I didn't get a higher English award and the ending is not what I would like it to be but I tried my best)

But please read on (if anyone is actually reading because no one seems to know about this great programme) and review maybe, it would make my day.

He knew he shouldn't be here. This was a bad idea yet he looked down at the pink roses sitting in the passenger seat of his car and knew that he had to go through with it.  
Picking them up he exited the vehicle, locked it behind him and made his way into the cemetery.  
Looking around he knew it wouldn't take him long to find the headstone. He had read the news articles numerous times before, he just hadn't built up enough courage to come, but he was here now, and was forcing himself not to turn and walk out those gates because he knew that if he would, he wouldn't return.

He halted on the path in front of an oak tree, he knew this was it. The small cross, much different from the rest, emblazed with her name and the date. No personal touch to show, her personality didn't shine through. This wasn't her. This wasn't what she deserved. With what she had to endure, Steve knew that she deserved so much more.

But this was it. A plot of ground with her name on it and her body lay underneath piles of dirt. He didn't think to bring a vase so after ripping the plastic packaging off the flowers he knelt down and lay the bundle on the mound of Earth in front of the cross. The pink roses contrasting the mound of earth that they lay on.

He stood up now and looked around to see if anyone he knew had followed him or if he was on his own. A woman he didn't recognise was closing in. A black hat obscuring her identity. Thinking she was going to stop at one of the gravestones close by he turned back to his thoughts and the gravestone lain in front of him.

The woman had stopped beside Steve now and it startled him a bit. She was facing towards the grave stone head down as if in silent mourning for the unfortunate soul that rested there. He wasn't sure if he should be here any longer but he didn't want to disturb the woman by quickly rushing away. He would wait for a more appropriate time.

"Sad isn't it." The almost masked figure said into the quietness between them.  
"Yes, unfortunate." He didn't know what else to say, he didn't know this woman or what she wanted but she intrigued him and that made him want to find out more.  
"How did you know her?" Steve questioned.  
"I'm a friend." The stranger replied.  
'That was strange' Steve thought. "She didn't have many of those on the force."  
"Lindsay was fiercely independent. We drifted over the past few years but I wish I could have been here to help." Steve notice a hint of sadness in her voice. Was it remorse for what could have been?

"So, what's the reason you are here? Are you a friend from a long time ago?" The stranger questioned.  
"No she was a suspect in the case I worked on." Steve heard himself reply. The basics of what had occurred over the past few hardest weeks of his life.  
"Sorry to be rude but can I ask, why are you here if she was just a case?" She's was right. She was rude. And to be honest he didn't truly know the reason why. "I guess I came here to show my respect since I didn't go to the funeral."  
"I'd noticed that you weren't there"  
"How?" This woman that he hadn't met before today apparently knew of him. Probably from the papers. His guard went up.  
"No one would miss a handsome guy such as yourself."  
if he was honest, he was grateful. In a way it was great to know he still had it in him but it felt a little weird to be flirting at the grave side of someone you once knew. So silence was reborn.

"Lindsay would have been glad that you came to see her and the pink roses you brought are a lovely gesture. She would have loved them."  
That was nice, he thought. He felt at ease now. After the pain and confusion of the past few weeks it was nice to know that he was appreciated. Even if it was just a little thing. He was glad that it could mean the world to her.  
"It's the least I could do for her especially in this situation but I just feel that she would have thought it would have been too late to make amends."  
The figure giggled. "If I know Lindsay, it's never too late to make amends. She would have been happy to know that you cared about her."  
The feelings that he had hidden deep inside were ignited.  
"I shouldn't after what she did but she was brave, intelligent...beautiful. If you don't mind me saying."

"No I don't and I don't think that she would have. She would have been glad that you noticed."

He looked down at his watch. Half an hour had passed. How had he not noticed that be spent so much time here.  
"I should be going. I came here in my lunch hour; I need to be getting back" He turned to face her and outstretched his hand. "It was nice to meet you..."  
She took his hand in hers and shook it. "Lindsay."  
He nodded. It was a tad strange yet not uncommon that people with the same name would become friends.  
She peeked out under the brim of her hat and took in sight of his name badge on the lanyard around his neck.  
"It was nice to meet you, DS Arnott. Here's my card if you ever want to talk."  
With the business card firmly in her fingers he took it from her.  
He looked down at the card, it seemed she was a police officer too. He read the full name on it, surely it couldn't be. It wasn't possible.  
His gaze was at her feet, but that quickly changed. He eyes roamed up, taking her in and taking his time before he got to her face. Surely this was some kind of sick joke a stranger was playing at his expense?

And they would know who he was, his face had been plastered all over the papers due to the scandal.  
His eyes landed on her face. He studied her and took in the sight that he had wanted to see for some time.  
The hat was now off showing him the truth of the matter.  
How was this even possible? Here she was standing in the flesh in front of him. She placed the hat back on her head and turned quickly and made her way down the gravel path. He wanted to run after her and grab her arm, ask her the questions that he had been wondering for the longest of times but his feet were placed firmly on the ground. He couldn't move, he was in shock. He looked down, willing his feet to move and when he looked back she had gone. Vanished. It was a large open cemetery but she was nowhere to be seen. He shook his head and wondered if that whole experience had really happened.

There was no possible way that it could have. She was dead and gone. The Caddy had made sure of that. A bullet to the head. There was no coming back from that.

If he wanted to keep his sanity, he shouldn't believe it. Telling himself that it hadn't happened, a trick of the mind, he made his way back to his car. Focusing on the work that had still to be completed after lunch. Hoping that he would be able to forget about the strange occurrence that had just taken place.

Exiting from her hiding place behind a tree. Lindsay watched as Steve walked away.  
It was nice that he was going to question himself daily from now on.

 _ ***Insert spoiler***_ So I know no one went to Lindsay's funeral which made me really sad, so this story was born from that and the fact that a killer in the book I'm reading had someone go to her funeral but yet Denton didn't. (SO ANGRY!)


End file.
